Family Love Makes The Triune God Visible

If we emphasize the unity of God, we picture in our mind, a lonely, mysterious God who, we think, may have created man and woman because he was lonely. Much as a widower might purchase a dog to overcome loneliness, God made man and woman to have a relationship with.

The truth could not be further from this thought. Our God who is one in essence, is nevertheless three in persons. Before time began, God dwelt in perfect community, Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

Tim Keller states it this way: “So we believe that the world was made not by a God who is an individual nor by an emanation of an impersonal force. But by a God who is a community of persons who have loved […]

Should You Let the Sun Go Down on Your Anger?

Ephesians 4:26 reads, “In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your anger.” It is a foundational verse on handling anger. And I am convinced that for years I misapplied this verse to the detriment of my marriage.

What exactly does this verse mean? And how should it be applied in marriage?

For many years, early in our marriage, Sharon and I tried to apply that verse literally. We had the normal adjustments of newly married couples. In addition, both of us have intense personalities. As a result we had numerous times of “intense fellowship.” In fact, we probably had those times more than most couples.

Often a disagreement would carry on as the evening grew late. The more we tried to […]


The Sad Christian: Thoughts on the Causes of and Possible Solutions to Depression

Do Christians get depressed?

And if they do, is it because of sin or because of physical issues, or some combination of the two?

And more importantly, what do we do to help those who are depressed?

Take a few minutes to listen to Dr. David Murray as he speaks on depression. This material is a summary of his excellent little book, Christians Get Depressed Too.




If you are a parent, God has given you eternal souls to influence. In today’s culture, you need a strategy.

The Disciple-Making Parent will give you confidence in your parenting.



ERLC 2018 – Church Structure, Parental Insecurity, and Parenting Adult Children

I recently had the privilege of participating on a panel at ERLC 2018 – The Storm-Tossed Family.  Following were the questions we were asked to prepare for and my bullet point responses. What would you add?

Parents don’t see their role as disciple-making. They are busy making sure they are fed, staying out of trouble, and getting into school. How does the disciple-making paradigm change the way we think about parenting?

I know what it’s like to be busy – 4 kids each two years apart. 6,4,2, newborn, 2010 was our teen year – 19-13.
We are not connecting what the Bible says about life to what we think about parenting.
We want to ask what will be best for our children 10,000 years from now.


The Great Commission Starts at Home

Jesus gave his disciples the Great Commission. “Go and make disciples, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Spirit, teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you,” (Matthew 28:19-20). This command is so crucial that it is repeated in various forms in the other gospels and at the beginning of the book of Acts.  The Great Commission is not just for the “spiritual” people but is to infiltrate the priorities of all Christians.

As my expression of fulfilling the Great Commission, I felt called to leave the area I had grown up (Alabama) and stay in New England to help plant a church to reach this area with the gospel. With only 1-3% of the population in […]

John Piper on Questions to Ask When Preparing for Marriage

John Piper has an excellent (and exhaustive!) list of questions that couples can ask each other before they are married.  Whether or not our children can handle his list, it raises the question for the parents, “How will I equip my child to prepare for marriage? How will I equip my child to begin the process?”

I have learned from church conflict situations that the time to stress the value of church unity is when there is peace in the congregation. If I stress unity in the midst of a disagreement, it will seem I am telling people they must agree with me.

Similarly, the best time to prepare our children for what questions to ask in a relationship is before there is a relationship. If we […]


The Emotional Christian: Thoughts on Perfect, Disordered, and Redeemed Emotions

Your understanding of emotions will affect your life.
Your understanding of emotions will affect your family.
Your understanding of emotions will affect your parenting.

As a parent, you have a theology of emotions. Is it in line with the Bible? Dr. David Murray has written several books for Christians. Christians Get Depressed Too and The Happy Christian help us think biblically about this vital part of our lives.

Invest a few minutes to listen to Dr. David Murray as he speaks on emotion. And as an extra bonus, you will love his Scottish brogue.



Speaking with Verbal Authority

Verbal authority. Some people have it. Some people need to develop it.

My mother, at 5’7″ and slight of build, taught high school English. She was a tough and effective teacher. Over the years she has had many students tell her she was their favorite high school teacher.

But don’t doubt that she was in control of her classroom. She had football players weighing twice as much as her completely under her control. Her greatest challenge? One year she had an afternoon class of thirty, comprised of hormonal football players and flirty cheerleaders.

She exerted her authority … and they learned English.

Her example inspired me when I taught high school for a few years. And it should inspire you. A teacher, a pastor, and yes a parent needs […]


Handling Worry and Fear: A Skill for Every Parent

Is worrying synonymous with being a parent? After all there are so many dangers in the world.

Should we say, “A good parent will worry?” After all what’s wrong with worrying?

We might say nothing except that Jesus tell us not to worry. Worry and fear drive many conflicts at home and in the church. And these sins destroy the peace of many.

We must start thinking clearly about this subject!

In this episode we will listen in on an introductory counseling equipping module from the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors on this subject. The lecturer also applies these principles to his own life as a parent of a prodigal.

This lecture is used with the kind permission of ACBC. You can find more of their resources here.


If you […]


The Character Chart: A Foundational Parenting Tool

Parenting little (and big) children can feel like paddling down the rapids of a river in a raft. And then the raft turns over and the family is being swept along by the current of activities chosen or imposed.

In a previous post, The Power of the Coffee Date, I have argued that a regular time away allows the shepherds of the family to think about the issues they are facing and come up with plans to address those. In this post, I want to add another piece that helped us as a family – The Character Chart. I highlight it my conference (and coming soon video parenting course) – Parenting with Confidence.

Just this week I received this testimonial:
I found the character chart in one of […]