Overthinking or Underthinking Parenting?

I am staring at an article in a denominational newspaper written by a young pastor with doctorate degree from a leading seminary. In that article he makes a statement I have heard before. “Many young Christian parents are overthinking the parenting thing. Interestingly, the Bible has very little to say about specific techniques other than, ‘Feed em, love ‘em, don’t drive em crazy, and point em to Jesus.’”

As a pastor and an author of a book on parenting, I think this statement is glib and dangerous. I agree with some of his concerns. Unfortunately, his play for a laugh is harmful and takes a flat view of the Bible. Would he also say that the Bible’s view of salvation is “Jesus loves me this I […]


Basics of Conflict Resolution and Peacemaking

Are you in the middle of a conflict in your family? In your church? Or at your work?

If you are, Do you understand what God’s word has to say about handling conflict?

Unfortunately, conflict is a part of every relationship – including our families.  If you are the parent of young children you certainly know that!

But most Christians are not equipped to handle the conflict in our relationships with others. And yet God in his grace has given us many principles to help us walk through disagreements. And to teach our children.

The following episode contains a short teaching I did on very high-level principles that come to us from God’s word. Specifically, I am walking us through some principles laid out by Ken Sande in the […]


The Power of a Joyful Parent

Parenting is tough work. Whether toddlers or teens, there are challenges at every stage. For conscientious parents, seeking to raise their children to obey, love and follow the Lord, the to do list can grow long. Along with this comes an increased  sense of failure. In the midst of those challenges, it is easy to focus on just surviving. We can fall into stern obedience or lacksidasical martyrdom. I know I alternated between those.

Looking back on those years now, I wish someone had told me this –

“Focus on joy.”


Because God loves a cheerful parent.

In 2 Corinthians 9:7 Paul encourages generous financial giving. And then he states the principal underneath that encouragement – “God loves a cheerful giver.” It was John Piper who first called my […]


The Happy Christian: Thoughts on the Surprising Duty of Joy

How happy is your family? How happy are you?

Is a happy family even possible?

In the middle of all this brokenness should a Christian even aim to be happy?

This episode is absolutely vital for disciple-making parents. Happy homes are the place where the gospel passes the most easily. In fact, joy is a preeminent fruit of holiness and yet often we see Christina homes where the mark of being godly is a serious and sour disposition.

Listen in to this message by Dr. David Murray as he explains the surprising duty of joy that should characterize the Christian.



If you are a parent, God has given you eternal souls to influence. In today’s culture, you need a strategy.

The Disciple-Making Parent will give you confidence in your parenting.



Family Love Makes The Triune God Visible

If we emphasize the unity of God, we picture in our mind, a lonely, mysterious God who, we think, may have created man and woman because he was lonely. Much as a widower might purchase a dog to overcome loneliness, God made man and woman to have a relationship with.

The truth could not be further from this thought. Our God who is one in essence, is nevertheless three in persons. Before time began, God dwelt in perfect community, Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

Tim Keller states it this way: “So we believe that the world was made not by a God who is an individual nor by an emanation of an impersonal force. But by a God who is a community of persons who have loved […]

Should You Let the Sun Go Down on Your Anger?

Ephesians 4:26 reads, “In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your anger.” It is a foundational verse on handling anger. And I am convinced that for years I misapplied this verse to the detriment of my marriage.

What exactly does this verse mean? And how should it be applied in marriage?

For many years, early in our marriage, Sharon and I tried to apply that verse literally. We had the normal adjustments of newly married couples. In addition, both of us have intense personalities. As a result we had numerous times of “intense fellowship.” In fact, we probably had those times more than most couples.

Often a disagreement would carry on as the evening grew late. The more we tried to […]


The Sad Christian: Thoughts on the Causes of and Possible Solutions to Depression

Do Christians get depressed?

And if they do, is it because of sin or because of physical issues, or some combination of the two?

And more importantly, what do we do to help those who are depressed?

Take a few minutes to listen to Dr. David Murray as he speaks on depression. This material is a summary of his excellent little book, Christians Get Depressed Too.




If you are a parent, God has given you eternal souls to influence. In today’s culture, you need a strategy.

The Disciple-Making Parent will give you confidence in your parenting.



ERLC 2018 – Church Structure, Parental Insecurity, and Parenting Adult Children

I recently had the privilege of participating on a panel at ERLC 2018 – The Storm-Tossed Family.  Following were the questions we were asked to prepare for and my bullet point responses. What would you add?

Parents don’t see their role as disciple-making. They are busy making sure they are fed, staying out of trouble, and getting into school. How does the disciple-making paradigm change the way we think about parenting?

I know what it’s like to be busy – 4 kids each two years apart. 6,4,2, newborn, 2010 was our teen year – 19-13.
We are not connecting what the Bible says about life to what we think about parenting.
We want to ask what will be best for our children 10,000 years from now.


The Great Commission Starts at Home

Jesus gave his disciples the Great Commission. “Go and make disciples, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Spirit, teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you,” (Matthew 28:19-20). This command is so crucial that it is repeated in various forms in the other gospels and at the beginning of the book of Acts.  The Great Commission is not just for the “spiritual” people but is to infiltrate the priorities of all Christians.

As my expression of fulfilling the Great Commission, I felt called to leave the area I had grown up (Alabama) and stay in New England to help plant a church to reach this area with the gospel. With only 1-3% of the population in […]

John Piper on Questions to Ask When Preparing for Marriage

John Piper has an excellent (and exhaustive!) list of questions that couples can ask each other before they are married.  Whether or not our children can handle his list, it raises the question for the parents, “How will I equip my child to prepare for marriage? How will I equip my child to begin the process?”

I have learned from church conflict situations that the time to stress the value of church unity is when there is peace in the congregation. If I stress unity in the midst of a disagreement, it will seem I am telling people they must agree with me.

Similarly, the best time to prepare our children for what questions to ask in a relationship is before there is a relationship. If we […]