Help! I Caught My Son Looking at Porn!

Like the mother above, we may be horrified by what we find on our computer. I received this email recently. What would you say?

My husband and I planted a church in several years ago. I’ve been leading a Mom’s Bible study using your book The Disciple Making Parent.

Two days ago I caught our almost 15 year old son looking at inappropriate pictures on the Internet. We are purchasing software for our devices, etc. but I was wondering if you have any resources that you would recommend for the discipleship process that we now need to embark on to help my son work through and hopefully overcome this temptation. I appreciate any help/resources you could suggest.

Thank you. Emily

My Response
Thank you for reaching out to […]


A Parable of Two Kind Police Officers

There once was a boy and a girl who grew up in a small town. As these stories go, Jonathan and Amy fell in love with each other and were married. But along the way they discovered something else they had it common – both loved their little town and they loved serving it.

In particular, Jonathan and Amy both loved keeping the peace and safety by being police officers. And so this husband and wife became officers of the law. And the community loved them. Two of their own would be serving the town!

Problems Arise
However, Jonathan and Amy soon realized that one particular aspect of their job was especially challenging. They had to give out speeding tickets. What made this a challenge was that, since […]


Handling Grandparents Who Disagree

Question: We are Christians but both sets of our parents are not. How do we handle their disagreement with how we are raising our children (their grandchildren)?

I was recently asked that question at a conference. Thankfully, Sharon and I had wonderfully supportive parents. However, I have talked with enough families to begin to understand some of the problems. I know I risk giving simplistic answers to complex family situations and dynamics. Nevertheless, here is my reply.

We are commanded by God to honor our parents. Although we don’t obey them as adults we are still called to honor. This plays out in several ways.

1. We should not speak evil of them in front of our children. We want to encourage honor for them in our children. […]


The Power of Family Meals

The word liturgical has come to mean the order of the worship service. That worship routine creates a culture.

The word liturgy sticks in my mind when thinking about the power of family meals in creating family connectedness. In our casualness child-centeredness, I fear we have lost something valuable – a theology of food and the impact of family meals.

As I travel about I see too many good families who are not thoughtful in this area. And we are the poorer for it. In this article, I want to argue for why you should be intentional about your family meals.

Meals as a Sign and Seal
A quick survey of Scripture reveals the power of meals. God covenanted with Abraham and fellowshipped around a meal. In the Old Testament […]


Spurgeon: Tell Your Children

“Tell ye your children of it, and let your children tell their children, and their children another generation.” — Joel 1:3

In this simple way, by God’s grace, a living testimony for truth is always to be kept alive in the land-the beloved of the Lord are to hand down their witness for the gospel, and the covenant to their heirs, and these again to their next descendants.

This is our first duty, we are to begin at the family hearth: he is a bad preacher who does not commence his ministry at home. The heathen are to be sought by all means, and the highways and hedges are to be searched, but home has a prior claim, and woe unto those who reverse the order of […]

Parent Devotional|

Why “OK?” Is Not OK

The heart of The Disciple-Making Parent is helping parents pass the gospel to and disciple their children. Inevitably that spills over into what we might call Basic Parenting or Parenting 101. I cover this in my Parenting with Confidence seminar and course.

And in that teaching I make a Study Bible analogy. In a Study Bible, there are inspired words from God that you may not argue with, only seek to understand and obey. There are also words that are commentary from fallible men and women. This Study Bible notes are not inspired but come from wisdom.

I offer the following post knowing that it fits squarely in the “Study Bible Notes” part of parenting. I cannot point to a chapter and verse to back it up […]


Who Should Discipline? Mom or Dad?

I was recently presenting at a conference and was suggesting that Aaron’s son’s sins of active disobedience and passive disobedience might have been influenced by Aaron’s passivity as a leader. Though parents are certainly not responsible for the choices our children make as adults, we do have some influence over them as we shape their wills growing up.

One application of that talk was to strongly suggest that men fight passivity and engage in leading their home and specifically in the area of child discipline.

At the end of that talk, one mom asked this question, “I have just come from a talk where the female speaker was urging the women not to be pushovers and put the discipline on the fathers. How would you fit those […]

Parenting, Video|

Eight Thoughts on Protecting the Purity of Your Daughter

Here are eight thoughts on protecting the purity of our daughters. To my daughters, these are my prayers and aims for you!

1. Gain and Keep Her Heart – Does she know and trust you, her parents? Do you know her heart? Have you taken time to listen? Is she finding her identity in Christ and not in a relationship with someone else?

2. Protect Her Purity – As a child, the parents are the door to the sheepfold, protecting her from the wolves. As she grows older it becomes a shared responsibility.

3. Show the Beauty of Purity and the Dazzling Disgust of Impurity – Does she recognize that the greatest gift she can give her future husband is her purity? Will that be the greatest gift […]

Erma Bombeck – What Does A Father Do?

Not Christian per se but still practical and wise …..Chap


I received a letter from a single mother who had raised a son who was about to become a dad. Since he had no recollection of his own father, her question to me was “What do I tell him a father does?”

When my dad died in my ninth year, I, too, was raised by my mother, giving rise to the same question, “What do fathers do?” As far as I could observe, they brought around the car when it rained so everyone else could stay dry.

They always took the family pictures, which is why they were never in them. They carved turkeys on Thanksgiving, kept the car gassed up, weren’t afraid to go into the basement, […]


Bullying and the Gospel: What’s a Parent to Say and Do?

Bullying is a common childhood problem.

How would you help your child if this happened to him or her? Are Christians always to turn the other cheek? How does the gospel apply?

Listen in as I have conversation with Kevin McKay about the wise way he walked his son through this very problem.