Parenting

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Why “OK?” Is Not OK

The heart of The Disciple-Making Parent is helping parents pass the gospel to and disciple their children. Inevitably that spills over into what we might call Basic Parenting or Parenting 101. I cover this in my Parenting with Confidence seminar and course.

And in that teaching I make a Study Bible analogy. In a Study Bible, there are inspired words from God that you may not argue with, only seek to understand and obey. There are also words that are commentary from fallible men and women. This Study Bible notes are not inspired but come from wisdom.

I offer the following post knowing that it fits squarely in the “Study Bible Notes” part of parenting. I cannot point to a chapter and verse to back it up […]

Parenting|

Who Should Discipline? Mom or Dad?

I was recently presenting at a conference and was suggesting that Aaron’s son’s sins of active disobedience and passive disobedience might have been influenced by Aaron’s passivity as a leader. Though parents are certainly not responsible for the choices our children make as adults, we do have some influence over them as we shape their wills growing up.

One application of that talk was to strongly suggest that men fight passivity and engage in leading their home and specifically in the area of child discipline.

At the end of that talk, one mom asked this question, “I have just come from a talk where the female speaker was urging the women not to be pushovers and put the discipline on the fathers. How would you fit those […]

Parenting, Video|

Eight Thoughts on Protecting the Purity of Your Daughter

Here are eight thoughts on protecting the purity of our daughters. To my daughters, these are my prayers and aims for you!

1. Gain and Keep Her Heart – Does she know and trust you, her parents? Do you know her heart? Have you taken time to listen? Is she finding her identity in Christ and not in a relationship with someone else?

2. Protect Her Purity – As a child, the parents are the door to the sheepfold, protecting her from the wolves. As she grows older it becomes a shared responsibility.

3. Show the Beauty of Purity and the Dazzling Disgust of Impurity – Does she recognize that the greatest gift she can give her future husband is her purity? Will that be the greatest gift […]

Erma Bombeck – What Does A Father Do?

Not Christian per se but still practical and wise …..Chap

 

I received a letter from a single mother who had raised a son who was about to become a dad. Since he had no recollection of his own father, her question to me was “What do I tell him a father does?”

When my dad died in my ninth year, I, too, was raised by my mother, giving rise to the same question, “What do fathers do?” As far as I could observe, they brought around the car when it rained so everyone else could stay dry.

They always took the family pictures, which is why they were never in them. They carved turkeys on Thanksgiving, kept the car gassed up, weren’t afraid to go into the basement, […]

Parenting|

Bullying and the Gospel: What’s a Parent to Say and Do?

Bullying is a common childhood problem.

How would you help your child if this happened to him or her? Are Christians always to turn the other cheek? How does the gospel apply?

Listen in as I have conversation with Kevin McKay about the wise way he walked his son through this very problem.

Wisdom and Justice VS Lack of Wisdom and Injustice

So give your servant a discerning heart to govern your people and to distinguish between right and wrong…So God said to him, “Since you have asked for this …for discernment in administering justice, I will do what you have asked. I will give you a wise and discerning heart…1 Kings 3:10-12
As a parent, I will be called upon to make a myriad of decisions. Should my child take certain classes? Should he or she do this afterschool activity or the other one? When do I push them toward an activity that they don’t want to do, but I think will be good for them? In the midst of difficult situations, when do I make them persevere and when do I allow them to quit? Do […]

Had I Been Joseph’s Mother – A Poem by Ruth Bell Graham

A Ruth Bell Graham Poem.

Had I been Joseph’s mother
I’d have prayed/ protection from his brothers
“God keep him safe./ He is so young,
so different from / the others.”
Mercifully, / she never knew
there would be slavery/ and prison, too.

Had I been Moses’ mother
I’d have wept/ To keep my little son;
praying she might forget/the babe drawn
from the water /of the Nile.
Had I not kept/ him for her/ nursing him the while,
was he not mine – and she/ but Pharoah’s daughter?

Had I been Daniel’s mother
I should have pled / “Give victory!
-this Babylonian horde / godless and cruel –
Don’t let him be a captive – better dead,
Almighty Lord!”

Had I been Mary,/Oh had I been she,
I would have cried/ As never mother cried,
Anything, O God, / Anything…- but / crucified.”
With such […]

Helping our Children Handle Suffering

Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 5:10

As a parent, I want the best for my child. But in wanting that best, I can become confused, using only human wisdom. I hate to see my child suffer in any way. And yet, following Jesus involves suffering. So, if I am going to call my children to follow Christ, then I am going to call them to suffer.

Perhaps the corrective on suffering needs to start in my own mind. Francis Schaeffer argued over 30 years ago that the majority of adult Christians are worshipping the idols of personal peace and affluence. We, the parents, want a Christianity that brings us a sense of tranquility and […]

Painful Love and Forgiveness

Blessed are those that mourn, for they will be comforted. Matthew 5:4

Our families will never be perfect. We will sin against each other and be sinned against. Relationships invariably involve pain. That is the way of love. How we choose to react to that pain will depend on our perspective.

C. S. Lewis makes clear that the choice is between loving and having a hard heart.

Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in […]

How We Handled Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy

We are past this stage in our parenting but I thought it might be interesting to post how we handled Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy.

This issue is not at the heart of the gospel (Romans 14:4, 17). I was brought up on Santa until age six. That Christmas Eve night we were driving home from my grandmother’s house. As I looked out at all the homes in my city, I just knew that there was no way Santa could visit every house in the world in one night. And I am following the Lord today.

However, anytime we talk to our children about someone who knows if we are sleeping or awake (omniscience) and who knows if we’ve been good or bad […]