Ephesians 4:26 reads, “In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your anger.” It is a foundational verse on handling anger. And I am convinced that for years I misapplied this verse to the detriment of my marriage. What exactly does this verse mean? And how should it be applied in marriage? For many years, early in our marriage, Sharon and I tried to apply that verse literally. We had the normal adjustments of newly married couples. In addition, both of us have intense personalities. As a result we had numerous times of “intense fellowship." In fact, we probably had those times more than most couples. Often a disagreement would carry on as the evening grew late. The more [...]
What if I told you of one simple activity that could decrease conflict and increase unity in your home? In fact, it's not an exaggeration to say that this habit has been a huge blessing to our relationship. When Sharon and I were starting out, we wanted to be intentional about our parenting. Thanks to some good teaching we had a great start. But the Lord graciously added more children to our family every two years. With our children 6, 4, 2, and newborn we were starting to disagree more and more. Why the Problems? As we stepped back and analyzed it, we realized that while the issues were becoming more complex our time and energy to discuss them was decreasing. Earlier we used to [...]
Blessed are those that mourn, for they will be comforted. Matthew 5:4 Our families will never be perfect. We will sin against each other and be sinned against. Relationships invariably involve pain. That is the way of love. How we choose to react to that pain will depend on our perspective. C. S. Lewis makes clear that the choice is between loving and having a hard heart. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your [...]
Hi Friends, Attending a wedding today. This 3 minute video will be shown at the beginning by our church leadership. You can watch the whole thing in preview mode without buying it. I highly recommend it for your family and to discuss. Do we really understand the gospel in this way? Do we really value marriage because of what it illustrates? Beautiful!
Jason Helopoulos has a good article on qualities of a great elder. Could we say qualities of a great man? Young men are you listening? Young ladies are these in your prayer journal? Moms and Dads, you might consider printing down and sharing with your children. Or praying over this list. Theological, but Fiercely Practical: He will know the scriptures and revel in the doctrine and theology of God’s holy Word. And at the same time, he will know how to apply those truths of Scripture to the lives he is privileged to serve. Leader, but a Willing Follower: He doesn’t wear a sign that announces he is a leader. He isn’t loud and demands that people follow, they just do. Dignified, but Wonderfully Approachable: He is [...]
CBMW has my latest article up here. I wrote it to encourage young men to take manful initiative and care in a dateless world. Have Manful Motivation 1. Treat her as a sister with absolute purity. 2. Treat her as a sister with selfless love. Take Manful Action 1. Spend some time in groups with guys and girls. 2. Have some modesty toward her. 3. Date with Jesus, not Cupid in mind. 4. Make a formal, in-person invitation. 5. Be ready for rejection. Y 6. Go somewhere. 7. Minister to her by asking her questions about herself. 8. Thank her for her time. 9. Keep your mouth shut around others. 10. If you want to pursue things further, then repeat 3-9. 11. Repeat 3-9, until [...]
For some reason, church-going couples have compartmentalized their religious life and their marriage life. The two may never meet. So if we are having marriage conflicts, often the last thought is, “Have we prayed about it together?” But praying together is in fact a balm for many of our problems and an inoculation for many others. Many of the problems we are having may be the result of neglecting prayer together. Besides the effect on God, praying together has the mystical effect of binding hearts together. Something happens when two individuals go to the throne of grace together. How to start? Be careful lest you become overly ambitious. Five minutes of regular prayer beats 30 minutes that starts and then stops. Ideally, prayer should be [...]
Wise words and an aromatic metaphor from John Piper The Compost Pile So what about the compost pile? Picture your marriage as a grassy field. You enter it at the beginning full of hope and joy. You look out into the future and you see beautiful flowers and trees and rolling hills. And that beauty is what you see in each other. Your relationship is the field and flowers and the rolling hills. But before long, you begin to step in cow pies. Some seasons of your marriage they may seem to be everywhere. Late at night they are especially prevalent. These are the sins and flaws and idiosyncrasies and weaknesses and annoying habits in you and your spouse. You try to forgive them and [...]
Wow is this article on target!In it, the author argues that marriage should change us:1. From Selfishness to Service2. From Laziness to Engagement3. From Pride to HumilityHas marriage caused you to see your selfishness more and actively serve? Has the gospel caused you to move from laziness to engagement? As you see your sin, have you become more humble and seen your need of the gospel more? Marriage is intended to make us more like Jesus. But we have to see those trials as from him!Read the short article here.
"He needs your moral support…in fact…he needs you to be his biggest fan…" Read the whole short article here. And then read a few of the comments. Do you need to repent of not respecting him? He is called to love you unconditionally even when you are not lovely. You are called to respect him even when.........(see Ephesians 5:33). What can you say to him that shows you are his biggest fan?