One reason that young people give for walking away from their faith is hypocrisy in the home. What they mean is not that we sin. We all sin including them. What they mean is that we sin and we don’t seem to do anything about it.
One particular prevalent parenting sin is anger. Anger in the home often continues because we feel it is justified in the moment. In addition, only our family sees us get upset. It is a secret sin.
But in our hearts we know this is not the way Jesus would have us act.
I should know. This is a sin I struggle with.
An Anger Journal
I am in the middle of developing a video teaching tentatively entitled Patient Parenting: Overcoming Anger in the Home. Look for it in the future.
In the meantime, I want to share a set of questions that helped me walk through each of my train wrecks so that I could actively repent of my sin. I wanted to chase the fruit of sin all the way back to the root. To do that, I used an anger journal. And these were the questions I asked myself. (Though I have modified them, the basic questions originated with Dr. David Powlison of CCEF).
Circle of Folly
1. What was the stimulus? Record the event that triggered the anger.
2. What did I say or do? How did I react? Be specific with behavior, thoughts, emotions.
3. What was I expecting, desiring, craving, or believing at the moment? Was this a sinful desire or a good desire that became a demand?
4. How does the Bible speak to this? What do I need to repent of and put on? How does the cross and resurrection apply?
Circle of Wisdom
5. Where is God in this situation? What does he say relevant to your situation? How can the Holy Spirit help you in the moment next time?
6. Which godly response should I have had in the moment? What desires, beliefs, expectations, should I put off and put on?
7. What structural changes could you make to prevent this situation?
8. What verses will you use to renew your mind and fight temptation?
9. What will be the good consequence next time?
As an act of restitution, when you have a blowup, take some time and counsel yourself using the questions.
Let me know if they help you as much as they help me!
Want your children to follow Christ as adults? Up to 50% of young people walk away. Check out The Disciple-Making Parent. And for a free audiobook with your purchase, simply email us.